Finding Kali

And just that quickly, I was back in the Library in a very familiar room. Where was Kali? I peeked behind doors and around corners to confirm that I was alone. I turned the knob of the door to the hallway and as I half suspected, it was locked. Now what? 

I studied the doorknob. There wasn’t any keyhole to pick. I tried turning it with all my might and just ended up with very red hands. 

Again with the waiting, I thought, as I laid down on the bed. My entire life felt controlled by unseen forces. I didn’t even know if they were benevolent forces or not, although I hoped they might be. On Earth, a lot of people believed in a divine power called God. Carmen did. Her logic was that there had to be a lot more going on than could be perceived with five senses alone. There had to be other things we weren’t able to perceive, but we picked up whispers of them or glimpses of their impact, every once in a while, and those anomalies were the things that enabled us to have faith. Why wouldn’t there be an intelligent design? Why wouldn’t that creator want to engage with its creations directly and understand what it was like to be a creation? How else could a creator be all knowing? It all made sense to Carmen, but I wasn’t sure. Why wouldn’t a creator enable its creations to be able to perceive everything? Why set limits? Why all the mystery? Why not make everything known to everyone with whatever senses were needed? And I couldn’t figure out why an omnipotent creator would ever need to make a brutal sacrifice to save its creations. How did that save anyone? And from or for what?

When the door opened, I bolted upright.

“Well, hello, Althea,” said Guardian bristling into the room. 

“Where’s Kali?”

“Kali?”

“My daughter.”

“Oh, the young lady who arrived. Yes. Quite the surprise that.”

“Take me to her now.”

“Ah, she’s on her way. She’ll find us.”

“No. Take me to her.”

“There’s no hurry here at the Library. You must know that by now. It’s a timeless place.”

“Was it created?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you create the Library?”

“Oh, no, no. I take care of it. Tend it. Keep it going.”

“Is there a purpose to the Library?”

“Why of course there is!”

“What is it?”

Guardian wilted a bit. “I am just the guardian and keeper. I don’t really know the whys and hows of it.”

I stared straight into Guardian’s limpid eyes.

“And though I may not know very much, I do have something for you to consider,” Guardian continued. “Your young friend Anches suggested that you search in the Earth world for the answers you seek. I’d like to propose a different approach. The Library is full of information about all the worlds. It is logical to assume that the answers you seek are right here, documented in the colored glass.”

There was nothing like Guardian on Earth. He, or she, it was never really clear, was a hybrid human and plant, thin and reedy, with green shoots coming up out of the head and arms and the appearance of stalks along its body. I’d never seen Guardian sit down and it only bent so far. I was never certain I could trust Guardian. There was always something removed and secretive about the rustling creature. 

“Do you know everything that is in the Library?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“You could give me a complete tour?”

“In theory, yes.”

“What do you mean by ‘in theory?’”

“I mean that it is infinite. A complete tour is not really possible.”

“Could you give me a comprehensive tour? Focusing primarily on Earth?”

“Yes. It would be my pleasure to assist you.”

“What world do you come from?”

“I come from the Library.”

“Okay.”

In unspoken mutual agreement to begin right away, we moved through the door and walked along the hallway. 

“How is the Library organized?”

“It accumulates knowledge like detritus growth, expanding and expanding, and so there are always new sections and new additions. However, there is indeed an area devoted to the Earth world, so I could take you there first, if you would like.”

“Yes, take me there.”

“The Library is much like a living organism in a continual state of creation and learning. It is built of the stories of endless worlds and creatures in infinite varieties of color and light. There are different theories about the best way to read the stories. They can be read top to bottom or left to right or right to left or bottom to top or even diagonally, although I’ve never found that to make very much sense. Perhaps the value is in finding your own best way to read the stories to discover what they tell you directly. I would propose that that is the key to understanding, but you will need to make your own assessment and…”

Guardian’s voice continued in a murmur and as I continued along a different path, it grew faint and I could no longer distinguish the words. The idea to get him talking about the Library had worked and I was able to quietly step away to look for my daughter. 

I walked the cavernous paths, choosing to go to the right this time whenever I had a choice. I walked and walked and walked, getting nowhere. This could go on forever. I realized I was thirsty and I was getting sleepy and my eyes were growing heavy while walking. Going right at the next choice of trails meant entering an unlit path and I decided that I didn’t want to be without light, so I stopped, sat down, leaned against the stone wall, and looked up.

The walls went up and up and up and as they went up there was more and more light. It appeared the source of the light in the Library was from above. What was that source? Was there any way to reach it? 

When I woke, a Welchefarbe was probing me with its gaping nostrils.

“Ah!” I exclaimed instinctively. The Welchefarbe stepped back and began to run away. Without hesitation, I followed, chasing the glimpsed swirl of all the colors as the beautiful creature rounded the pathways, luring me onward. It felt like my life depended on not losing the Welchefarbe and maybe it did. It began to hurt to run, my lungs screamed for a break, but I kept going and going until I was near fainting, my mouth sticky with the need for water. My mind tried to talk me into stopping, but I resisted and kept going, rounding yet another corner and another corner, following that blaze of merciless color that never seemed to slow down, drawing painful breaths, until somehow there was Anches and I collapsed at his feet and I heard my daughter’s voice.

“Mom! You’re not going to believe where I went!”

Next: Escape from Smort

This is the fifteenth part in a series of stories. Following are the previous installments starting with the first:
1.   The Library
2.   Listen, Move, Hide, Repeat
3.   A Necessary State of Alarm
4.   Anches
5.   A Question in Colored Glass
6.   How a Lifetime Friendship Began
7.   In the World I Created
8.   To Make Things Right Again
9.   Escape from the Library
10. Pintor’s World
11. Vincente
12. What I Didn’t See Coming
13. First Person Binary
14. Closing the Loop